Annoying...

Main Entry: an·noy
1 : to disturb or irritate especially by repeated acts
2 : to harass especially by quick brief attacks
Taken from webster.com

I seem to annoy tons of people, startin from my Manager all the way to the other half of the world. There are people all around me who just seem to be annoyed by me. And for some reason, I don't care. They can get all annoyed they want. This is what I am. I do want to change but I don't want to at the same time. You see, I'm in a crisis at the moment... My heart is telling me something completely different to what my mind wants me to do... I'm in a total state of confusion and I have always been since... well I don't really know...

My part-time employer is really pissed off with me because I left him hanging in front of a customer. But why did I do that? He thinks (well I sorta made him think too) that its because he didn't pay half of my "salary" when I was on a salary basis. Well that's one reason I guess... Another is that he took a responsibility and didn't do it... and now blames it all on me... well let him blame it... your loss... you lose the project... what are you going to do... sue it out of me?

Then there is another reason.... When I asked you a couple of hundreds of times to tell me the budget so that I can plan accordingly... you said we'll decide later... well hard luck dude, later is past and no word from you... time's up and the money's gone...

Well he has talked to my current manager who seems to be very impressed by his story... he's coming over so that my manager can hear both sides... Apparantly he tells me he was crying.. what a show... all his employees left him and I was his last hope maybe... now the fuel has dried up from the burning lamp... time to file in for bankruptcy or just continue with your jobs like you were doing before anyway...

So there you go... a story of a person I annoyed so much... There are definitely others but maybe I'll leave 'em for some other time...

2 Weeks and nothing...

Two weeks of vacation and still no improvement. Back to the same boring job with the same crappy boss and a braindead guy as a newcomer. Life is good...

Two weeks I spent away from the computer and still my desire for it never decreased. For some reason I am tempted to turn every computer on and sit on it and do something... its always something... but that something turns out to be nothing because I never had a reason to put it on in the first place.

People properly manage their time but me... I have no management of anything whatsoever... I am not able to manage my career, my jobs, my life... Fear of management? ManagePhobia?

Lots of people in this world want to die because life is not good for them or every single thing is eating their head off... Although I don't have it that bad (even though I once had) I can't get myself to want to die... I mean you die and then... its eternal sleep (or resurrection), either way, its going to be a nightmare. I don't know about you but I don't like the feeling of living in a nightmare... and that too ETERNALLY....

I saw the sea for 24 hours continuously... It just keeps moving, just like time... There is no pause or rewind...

Love and Time

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love.

One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love.Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.

When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said,"Richness, can you take me with you?"Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!""I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked, "Sadness, let me go with you.""Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come, Love, I will take you." It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder,Love asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who Helped me?""It was Time," Knowledge answered."Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?"

Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is."

What's up? Where ya been?

Came across...

I came across this interesting blog... Although I haven't read all of it... but looks interesting...

My mind was wandering around several things that I couldn't understand and now can't remember... I came across several different things that are unbelievable...

You know what? Maybe I am insane deep down inside and just show sanity on the outside... Maybe my heart is dead and my mind is controlling my body... or maybe its just the other way around...

Dreams make up a vital part of your life... Its a state of the soul where it can possibly see the future or show you signs so that you may understand what you should be doing...

If laughter is the best medicine then why does it hurt when you laugh?

What is the point?

Every single day of our lives we dream... Consciously or subconsciously... When we're small we are shown what we are supposed to do with our lives... Shown basic professions police, fireman, etc. etc... We are shown how life is once you have worked hard... How you get promoted and become a manager... And we all grow up chasing this dream... The dream to be rich... The dream to live happily ever after...

But there is NO happily ever after... no matter what you do in life you have to make decisions and these decisions (and the consequences of those decisions) end up molding you into a person... A person who has to face life as it comes to him/her...

Why do we do what we do? Why do we live to face life? What is the point of doing what we are doing everyday?

Every night I lie down on the bed thinking of what I have done today... What is the point of doing whatever I am doing... All those childhood dreams of being rich... of getting married... having loads of kids... being a good person... teaching kids... living a good life... They don't happen just like that...

The point is ... we are not doing what we are supposed to be doing... Our purpose is not clear... not when we were children not now... Obviously an arguable statement... I am helping 1000 people in Tsunami, I'm an aid worker... What about the rest 20000? What is your clear purpose? Are u part of a plan? How did you get here? What if there's a conspiracy behind everything being done in this world... What if America had exploded a bomb in the middle of the ocean... The question is Why... not How.. not when... not where... not who... but Why?

You don't have the Why? That is why you are powerless and I am powerful...

Oh yes!!!

I finally get to evaluate my manager... I guess if he sees what I have filled out he's gonna go bonkers and fire me if he could... lol...

Anyway, the days in this new year are much like the days in the past year... the only difference is.. its a new day...

Time is a/the key... You can't use the same key for different people... Its like a running river that never dries up... Every person is in a different boat... These boats join up to make a larger one at times... and vice versa, some of these boats break up into smaller ones... Some boats get old and break/sink... Some are destroyed by the tide... and some are destroyed by other boats...

I've seen one too many movies recently and i'm gettin a bit tired of happy endings and fiction... I want reality... I want more than a true-story based movie... I want it real... What am I talkin about?

Boredom only gets over you if your mind is idle or is limited to specific repititive actions... I want a challenge... I want to move forward... I want ...... so many things I don't have...

I'm so sick and tired of not being in touch with you.

Me getting all dressy before this shaadi I was going to, the summer before last. My hair was longer back then, and then I got it cut in layers. And now it's back to the same length (well, almost), just with a more layered look. Oh well, it's not like you would care. But, by gosh, my ass looks mighty. Hate it... Hate it... Hate it...

Love.

Me & Sabby - Halloween

...still waiting for yours.

Ye Bekhudi
TUMKO NA BHOOL PAAYENGEY

(Yeh bekhudi, deewaangi
Tumhi se hai meri jaane jaana) - 2

Aashiqui, aawaargi
Tumhi se hai meri jaane jaana
Haan haan, haan haan
Yeh bekhudi, deewaangi
Tumhi se hai meri jaane jaana

Aashiqui, aawaargi
Tumhi se hai meri jaane jaana
(Jaane jaan yeh dil mera
Tumko bhoola na paayega) - 2
Yeh bekhudi, deewaangi
Tumhi se hai meri jaane jaana

Eh hey hey eh hey, eh hey hey eh hey
Eh hey hey, hey - 2
Tum mere dil mein aise base ho
Jaise ke dil ki dhadkan bane ho
Ho, tum mere dil mein aise base ho
Jaise ke dil ki dhadkan bane ho
Tumko meri jaan khabar hi nahin hai
Mere liye tum kya ban gaye ho

Yeh bekhudi, deewaangi
Tumhi se hai meri jaane jaana
Aashiqui, aawaargi
Tumhi se hai meri jaane jaana
(Jaane jaan yeh dil mera
Tumko bhoola na paayega) - 2
Yeh bekhudi, deewaangi
Tumhi se hai meri jaane jaana

Aa hey hey eh, aa hey hey eh
Eh hey hey, hey
Chaahon mein tumko yeh aashiqui hai
Is aashiqui mein ek bekhudi hai
Ho, chaahon mein tumko yeh aashiqui hai
Is aashiqui mein ek bekhudi hai
Yeh bekhudi bhi deewanapan hai
Deewanepan mein aawaargi hai

Yeh bekhudi, deewaangi
Tumhi se hai meri jaane jaana
Aashiqui, aawaargi
Tumhi se hai meri jaane jaana
(Jaane jaan yeh dil mera
Tumko bhoola na paayega) - 2

------

[Dedicated to my love :)]

And the New Year begins...

What have we accomplished in the past year? And what will we accomplish in the next?

Planning is a key part of life. Insufficient planning can lead to disaster. Too much planning, on the other hand, might lead to waste of time. Balance being a key ingredient...

Balance is equilibrium... The whole world is properly balanced for us to live in... Who has balanced it? Certainly not the human race...

New Year, New Sins

2005 years since the death of Christ and people stopped believing in him. You hear more about his brother Jesus F. Christ than Christ himself... Its amazing how the F. word has progressed into the tongues of young and old... It is so common... They even associate it with God in "Holy F. God"... What did God ever do to you? You have free will.. what is the point of blaming your idiocity to God when he has given you free will... You're going to die one day as will all humans...

Dude, I haven't had a chance to speak to you all day! This totally sucks. Got your SMS by the way... made me smile the sweetest I ever have. I showed it to Appi of mine, saying how I got this from a "gora." She simply frowned. Oh well... I was mighty surprised, and happy ofcourse :)

I love anything from you. But yea, wut tha hell. You didn't even post on your own blog, let alone comment on mine. Mad.