The gift of time...

Another year... another step forward... or is it backward... We grow up learning something every day... whether we know it or we don't... Eventually some of us learn to use the information we have learnt... others just disregard the information and do not wish to think about it...


We have been given the best of gifts... the gift of time... but even though it is the best gift... it is a dangerous one as well... There is a saying among the Arabs... Time is like a sword, if you don't cut it (use it), it will cut you...

Looking back at the quarter of a century that I have almost spent in this world... I have done little good... and more bad... but I guess that has made me who I am... but then again... Who am I really?

How many people have I hurt? How many have I not helped while I could?

Does my past define me or do my future plans determine my personality? Have the choices that I made in the past going to affect my choices in the future?

Am I looking for the meaning of life and understanding it?

Regardless of whether I was good or bad... The past is past... I have made quite a few mistakes... and perhaps learned from them... perhaps I didn't learn enough... but then... Time has a way of healing the past... and gives you hope of a better future...

I just hope I have a better future than I had in the past...

25 years old... curious mind of a young'in... stained heart of an old man...

The secret of my mind is my lack of faith... (i.e. not enough faith)... I guess...

I have no idea what I wrote...

Are you not entertained?

Once upon a time there were a group of people who used to work their behinds off during the day only to relax and stare at the sky in the night... These people were very happy... They had time to spend on their families, friends and neighbors... Talking, playing and doing loads of other things...


Suddenly it changed... they had found a way to entertain people... and people started spending less time with their friends and spent that time in front of the tv/radio... they couldn't imagine the amount of entertainment they could get in just one hour... It is in man's nature to be greedy... Where there is greed there is demand...


All in all people started living their own lives secluded with a world of entertainment in front of them... they can turn it on or off whenever they want... and now it is a part of life that is just irreplaceable...

I just spent some time walking to the laundromat rather than driving to it... really made me appreciate the time I spend getting entertained by the tv...

How much more time can we spend on entertainment? Are we still not entertained?

Brainfall...

So I decided to take some tests as well... here's what I came up with...

Which College Major Should You Be?
	Your major should be Engineering. Logic is your friend. With enough work, you can find a solution to anything... Unless it involves dating or parties.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Which Disney Villain Are You?
	You are part Jafar. "How many times do I have to kill you boy?" You just want to be big and powerful... Is that so much to ask? I mean, you deserve it.
	You are part Scar. Pride and respect matter to you most. Like you said yourself, "Simba, it's to die for." You are the most vicious of all villains. You even killed your brother. Worst still, you did it on the big screen in front of millions of little, unexpecting children. You, single handedly, can make a whole generation admit they cried: once.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Emotions-Part 2

<-- Part 1
There are times when there are outbursts of emotions... but there are times when there is nothing... a feeling of emptiness... of complete and utter blankness... A time you do not know what to feel... a time everybody goes through...

This is however, a sign of lack of control over self... but how much of your emotions can you really control?

The answer is a complicated one... You can't really control most of your emotions... but emotions can be controlled by something else... hmmm... Here's an example... Imagine yourself living in a forest all your life... like Tarzan... then all of a sudden you see forest trees cut down... what do you feel? Now imagine yourself as a lumberjack... living everyday of your life to cut down trees...

With TV (i.e. everything on it) you switch between these emotions in a split second... and when you do, an influx of two different kinds of hormones... leave you where?

Lost...

In part 1, love was mentioned as an emotion... but love is also tied in with lust (in case of the significant other)... Where do you really draw the line? Is love really love without lust? What does literature and entertainment describe love as? Would they really make the heartbroken feel more miserable if the lust aspect was taken out of the picture?

Does man really need love? Are mercy, compassion, respect, etc. not enough?

Where does emotion really hit? The mind or the heart? I guess there are certain emotions that hit the mind and some that hit the heart... Can we control ourselves to such an extent that emotions... let me re-phrase... Can we live our lives without emotions?

Thoughts with an empty stomach...

Time just flies by... and all you can hear is the sound of it passing by you... but that simple sound bears quite a bit to it... it tells of troubled times... There's so much going around in the world that is just bad... Man's inhumanity to man... It's sad... one on side a country's army is killing civilians on the other side rebels are killing civilians...

And God is just watching... waiting to see what choices people make... It is amazing the amount of free will God has given us... God has given his guidance... He has told us what we are supposed to do... and he gave us a brain... an intelligent brain... even with our advanced technology we are not able to equal that... but still we do not do what is right... we make choices that we should have not... I guess its in human nature not to learn from history... or from what somebody tells us... we have to do it ourselves to find out...

In any case, what benefits us is on this earth and is given to us... but we abuse it... and then we try explore outside our world... and we spend millions to explore... If only we had spent those millions in the earth... how much more could we have gotten out of it...

Oh well, as someone I heard said... "If you put an adjective before democracy... directly means a lack of democracy..." or something like that... and I quite agree with him... whether it is representative or liberal... but then again... I don't agree with democracy anyway... Personally, I think a few elite should decide the leaders... (some may say that is what happens anyway)... by elite I mean experts in their field... There should be forums of experts in all fields... they should decide which one of them should represent them and they should be restricted to their specific fields... A layman should not be the one to decide who should go in that field because he barely knows anything about that field...

I don't know if I'm making sense... I'm just exteremely hungry right now...

Hectic

It has been something these past few weeks... Things have turned up-side-down and/or all the way around...

First off, basic updates since I know some people are really wanting to hear this... A slight comment/observation before the update... It is quite interesting to see people having an arranged marriage... more interesting is when they are Muslims... You see the way it is done from what I understand, Islamically, you are allowed to see and talk to your wife once before marriage... and the rest of the info you have about that girl is hearsay... Obviously figuring out the family helps but there's a major element of mystery about the whole thing... and that I think is the perfect start to a marriage... Anyway, back to the update... Apparently this girl and my friend had a meeting and asked questions trying to find out about each other... And the outcome is that the girl's family like the guy i.e. my friend and his family... However, it is not yet official because they (i.e. the girl's family) have an extended family (i.e. girl's grandmother etc.) who have to be notified and approve of the guy's family... So essentially it will be officially hopefully in a month... or as they say, InshaAllah...

Secondly, work is getting a little more interesting because I have quite a bit of stuff to do. However, this excitement will be shortlived because the deadline for this work is next week and then I will be free like a bird again...

Thirdly, I am in dire need of hard disk space... I've got 200GB+ worth of movies and I'm out of disk space...

Fourthly, I took a GMAT test and scored low... according to my standards anyway... I had believed that my brain stopped functioning long time ago and this test proved my conviction...

Finally, its almost 4 in the morning and I have to go to sleep to be able to function well tomorrow... even though its the last day of the weekend...

Thinking is the first step to learning...

Things I like...

Ok the idea started from my hate list... Where my co-author Princess Donna, the optimist she is asked me to post a few of my favorite things... She posted her list... So I'm gonna post mine...

1. Beach... I've posted before... I can never get enough of the sea/ocean...
2. Solitude... I really want to be alone...
3. Sky... I just love sitting and looking at the sky, no matter what time of the day it is...
4. SUV... I'm in love with the Armada at the moment...
5. Travelling... I love travelling... I wish I could go around the world and back... (one of the reasons I wish I was rich)
6. Movies... I just love 'em.... especially Action movies...
7. Challenges... I wish there was a challenge everyday in my life...
8. Food... All kinds except veggies and fish... Everything else is worth eating (well almost everything anyway)...
9. Chocolate... especially chocolate chip cookies... my mouth's already watering...
10. Rides... roller-coasters and what not... I love 'em...

That's all I can think of at the moment... Hmm... How many times have I used love in this post? More times than since I first started blogging...

Just Bitter

I was just thinking about what things I hate in general... I started off with the basic things then moved on to people, things about people, etc.

Then I wondered if anybody ever created a hate list... Its just amazing how many people have thought of things and done them before you even got around to start thinking about them.. I guess that is a reason why we as a people are not innovative...

Anyway, so I thought I'd create a personal reminder for hating things... and here it is...

1. Hypocrites - I hate two-faced people... People who'd say its wrong and then do it themselves... Double-standard kinda people...
2. Trumpeteers - Not trumpeters but those who blow their own trumpets... i.e. Those who think of themselves as the best people on this earth...
3. Wackjobs - Not sick people... most of the celebrities and snobbishly wealthy people...
4. Wannabes - People who think they know everything about everything... who spent years talking about what they (almost) did and end up talking even more about what they have (not) done...
5. Insecure - People who use loads of makeup... spend hours in front of the mirror or trying out various (costumes) dresses...
6. Indifferent - People who know morality is being degraded and yet they utter not a single word...

Then I guess I am thinking... might as well create a wish list as well... I wish...

1. I never become one of them... never ever...
2. I was rich... not wealthy but rich...
3. My dad was a better man... and I will be a better dad...
4. I was immortal... that way I could live wherever I wanted...
5. All the people of the world know what their purpose is...

And the thought train has run out of fuel...

Matrimony

In a conversation with a friend, the idea of marriage popped up... For some reason, everybody around me is getting married... This friend in question is probably going to meet his mate... For me, I would guess that perhaps its my predictive personality that tends to drive people away (or I drive them away)... Either way I had given up the idea of having a mate long time ago... and recently I revealed this to a friend...

In any case, I was sort of "told off" by the friend who seems to think... and I quote:

Marriage... it's a FuNdAmenTaL need. Not a superficial "want", but an emotional a biological need... which cannot be fulfilled in any other way except matrimony. There are people who choose to remain single though, but unfulfilled needs cause frustration.

I have to agree... Marriage may be a fundamental need... However, it is not a requirement for life to progress... Emotions... that is a topic for another post... Frustration is only effect of unfulfilled need because you have not given up on the need and you refuse to live/love yourself...

Thus we were created... dependant upon each other... and the Creator has placed comfort for spouses in each other. So when the Creator ordains something going against it is hardly a good idea.

Well I really can't argue with that statement... We are created dependant upon each other... Man and Woman; each unique and complete in their own ways... But the Creator did not force it upon us... He gave us an option... And if I decide that I can better worship Him without a mate, so be it...

Those who say that they don't need the enwrapment of affection and that they're better off alone... are LiViNg In deNIaL!!

Not necessarily... everybody definitely needs affection and would love to live in it for their whole lives but the reality of the fact even if you do have affection and love, that is not the only thing worth living for in this world...

Family and friends make our lives beautiful... but cannot fill the blazing void for a companion inside us... you can't fit square pegs in round holes.

Correction, if the hole's big enough, you can fit anything in it...

Previous unpleasant experiences, general aversion or the lack of suitable matches can make us reluctant for a partnership... BUT... none of these reasons are irreversible or beyond rectification!

True but does it really need reversal... Does it need rectification?

Live and let live... Learn to live with yourself and you have the character to live with others...

Trials

I recently listened to parts of a talk given by one of the intellectuals over here talking about trials... From what I listened to, it was a great talk, I just regret that I didn't listen to the whole talk...

In any case, what I wanted to say was that there are trials for each and every person in this world... A rich person's money is his trial... A poor person's poorness is his trial... A proud warrior's defeat is his trial...

Trials can be put forth as simple as a meeting with another person... A well-off person is walking down the street and sees this poor person at the corner... That is a trial...

Trials can be in situations... A single beautiful woman asks a man to approach her... That is a trial for the man...

Trials can be a test of morals... doing the right thing... standing up for the truth... defending the right and stopping the wrong...

But trials are not limited to something that happens to a person... it can happen to a people... Katrina... Tsunami... the earthquake in Kashmir...

Every single minute of every person's life is a trial... Those trials can either make those people or break them... Lead them to the right path or lead them to misery...

Are we on the right path?

People

It happens, sometimes, that you know a person for several years and then you find out something new about them and you get shocked... I bet it has happened to you once or twice...

What really gets me is that people think that when they have known the person for a long time, they know everything about that person... Take wives for example, after years of marriage the wife finds something out that she never knew about the man she spent most of her time on... and this causes frustration and eventually, if they can't cope with that, the relationship ends...

What you have to understand is ... and what you have to find solace with is the fact that you will never find out everything about that person... But you might find out everything there is to know about that person...

The mind is a beautiful thing... but it belongs to that specific person... and the only way to it... is the heart...

On this note, I, with all my heart, welcome the new member Princess Donna. I will probably never find out everything about her or everything to know about her but I think this is the beginnings of a good partnership...

Control

You see/hear so many people talking about controlling your destiny... Life is what you make of it... Decisions are what you make of them... blah blah blah...

But what can you really control if you can't control yourself...

All my life, I have been about controlling myself... And I had done that successfully... until recently... Unfortunately, I was never taught that I should control the situation more than controlling myself... Well maybe I'll teach my children that...

Point being... Recently, I have lost control over myself...

The Criterion

In my previous post, I forgot to mention the criteria... the criteria to differentiate right and wrong...

Every human is born with a soul... a conscience... which eventually moulds itself according to the surroundings... Unfortunately for this day and age, the surroundings seem to be quite immoral... this creates a generation where conscience is no longer consulted and the mind follows a different path than the heart and soul... and this new generation is where the death of morals lie...

Unless... unless we revive morals...

But where do we get the morals... Religion is usually the first place to look... but not right now... let's look at our hearts... our souls.. our inner self... and then let's look at the world... nature... then we'll look at religion...

As young'ins we have a slight idea... For example, the early men even used to hide their privates... It is naturally instilled in us... but eventually the surroundings pressure us and we give way...

Nature has its way of telling us things... but it also lets you do the completely opposite... The only explanation, I think, is that Nature tests us... it tells you something and waits for you to slip up... then waits for others to slip up the way you slipped... And when there are enough people, out of the blue something huge happens and a couple of thousand people die... and those who are left alive have been taught a lesson...

All this leads to religion... Religion builds on these morals... If they are still intact, following a religion is not a problem... If they aren't, you are on a rocky path... Religion builds on that base... And if you have that base, selecting THE religion becomes extremely easy... Because, in your inner self, you are searching for it... It is just a matter of time where you read about the various religions from authentic (authentic because there are loads of texts you can find easily that provide you with false info) books and select the right one... Because that specific religion builds on that base... It gives you that spiritual uplift that has been missing all these years of uneasiness... of emptiness... of frustration... looking at the state of the world... looking at what is happening around you... looking at what has happened... thinking about what will happen...

But in the end, people go astray... they lean more towards people rather than the religious scriptures... they hear more from softspoken people and forget the aggressive ones... they get confused... they listen to the heart more than mind or vice versa... but all that matters is that it should be you who chooses... however, in the end someone chooses for you... and that is why you are at a loss...

Remember... it is easy to go astray... it is hard to stay on the right path...

Death of Morality

What is right and what is wrong? I think this has been asked over and over again everywhere in the world in all times... The first man down to the last this question will keep on repeating itself... With different answers...

But the real question is not this... and people have failed and will continue to fail to realize that the actual question quite obviously is what is the criteria of right and wrong...

In this day and age, there is a very thin, almost transparent, line between these two... I say it as if it were black and white... The thing is, it is black and white... There is no grey area in between... There is no such thing as "okay"... It is either right or it is wrong...

There are some times when things that are normally wrong are right.. such as telling a lie to stop a fight... but it is for a greater good and therefore it is right... It does not fall in the grey area...

I just hope some people will start a revolution for the resurrection of morals...

Another year...

Over a month since I last posted.. Alot of things have happened.. Quite a few things with my life... Quite a few with the world...

Things change.. and will continue to change... who reflects eventually benefits but most of us today are too busy or too lazy... For me, work is a waste... A simple waste... as an application specialist I didn't get enough work... and when I asked for more, I was assigned as a PMO Officer for several projects.. Even then the workload wasn't quite enough... I still had free time and still do... so I gave in to my movie addiction... and I've seen almost all recent and some old movies at work...

Personally, I am a very quiet person and I find it extremely hard to express anything I have to say... I don't know, I never met someone who I could relate to... I always remember being the odd one out... and for some reason, I love being alone... Don't get me wrong... I'm not a sociophobe... but being alone gives me true freedom... and I long for that... all the time...